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Post Info TOPIC: on marriage, social status and happiness


Graduate

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Posts: 606
Date: Apr 17 10:55 PM, 2019
RE: on marriage, social status and happiness
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Mrs Gimlett wrote:

 

Although Clowance said she would only marry again for money or position, in the end I think she did love Edward.  They appeared blissfully happy towards the end of BP and I would have loved to hear much more of them.

 

Mrs G - I agree with you. Clowance needed quite a lot of time to think through her marriage to Stephen. It took some time I think for her to work through her ambivalent feelings towards Stephen. Having done so, I think she was able to love Edward and enjoy her life with him. 

 



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Honorary Life Member. Forum Moderator

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Date: Apr 17 7:53 PM, 2019
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I agree with you Stella.  The Trenegloses were well matched.  I'm not sure they always lived in harmony, because Ruth was spiteful and John was not very bright.

Although Clowance said she would only marry again for money or position, in the end I think she did love Edward.  They appeared blissfully happy towards the end of BP and I would have loved to hear much more of them.

Elizabeth had something about her which makes me think she would never have been really happy with anyone.  Not even Ross, had she married him.  Her love was purely maternal and quite selfish.

Paul Kellow did marry 'up' because his was not a genteel family - they had pretensions and Paul liked to romance to strangers about their position and connections, but really they were parvenues.

What do others think?

 



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Graduate

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Date: Apr 13 10:31 PM, 2019
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I cannot agree that George and Elizabeth were happy. It's true that Elizabeth lived well materially but George's behaviour towards her and Valentine following Agatha's dying words to him was very cruel and punishing.

I agree with Hollyhock that Ruth and John Treneglos were well matched and happy in spite of John's lecherous behaviour. I think that eventually they were very close, perhaps because of the worry about Agneta.



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Undergraduate

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Date: Apr 13 5:41 PM, 2019
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It's been a while since I did a big read but I can't think of anyone Blackleburr.

Arthur Solway married up but was blissfully happy until he discovered that his wife was a...well you know. Even then, it doesn't appear that he regretted marrying the wretched girl. But who knows if she got up to her old tricks again, or ran off with some dandy?

Paul Kellow married money (not sure it was considered a step up) but the marriage certainly was not happy--poor Mary! 

Actually, I can't agree that John and Ruth's marriage was unsuccessful; over the years they seemed well matched. It's just that they each lusted after someone else--NOT unsimilar to Demelza and Ross.

Here's my long-winded take on your "imbalance" question.  I don't see one. From my understanding, it would have been mostly women who married up and such marriages most often were for advantage, not affection--if love grew all well and good. As Clowance once told Demelza, if she ever married again it would be for wealth or position, not love. So, looking at your list of 'cross-status' marriages (including Clowance & Edward's), my guess is that WG would have had to add more storylines and characters for an 'unhappy marriage-up' angle. WG loved to throw in historical references, so when Ross is trying to reassure Demelza about going among the gentry, he mentions a couple of London housemaids who married titles (these marriages were great successes).

Are you thinking that such a marriage would have enhanced the saga?  For my part, I'm happy that we didn't have to suffer through even more misery.smile

 





-- Edited by Hollyhock on Saturday 13th of April 2019 05:50:06 PM

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Student

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Date: Apr 12 7:35 PM, 2019
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Can anyone think of an example across the Poldark books where someone (willingly) marries up in terms of social status, but is unhappy in marriage?

 
Most of the marriages which are not altogether successful seem to be among equals (Elizabeth & Francis, Keren & Mark Daniel, Ruth & John Treneglos, Lady Harriett's first marriage). There is one person who marries down but ends up unhappy - Clowance.
 
The other people who marry across social status seem to be generally happy with their lot (if not better): Ross & Demelza, Dwight & Caroline, Drake & Morwenna, George & Elizabeth, George & Harriet, not to mention Margaret-of-the-many-surnames
 
But up and unhappy? The only candidates I can think of are Morwenna's marriage with Ossie (but she never wanted it in the first place, so I don't think it counts), and possibly Joan Pascoe (but we don't get to know much about her feelings at all, so I guess it's just a maybe).
 
So is this not a bit of imbalance? Or am I missing something?


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