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Post Info TOPIC: Help from the experts please!


Student

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Date: Jan 28 4:25 AM, 2011
RE: Help from the experts please!
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Last Saturday was the one year anniversary of my Mothers death. No words can really help, but I wish you some closure and respite from grief.

Wally.

Note: Queen Victoria died on the same day. Apropriate.

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Student

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Posts: 186
Date: Jan 26 12:53 PM, 2011
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Just wanted to say, sorry for your loss, Namparagirl!

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Newbie

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Date: Jan 25 3:26 PM, 2011
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Hello again, Namparagirl

Thank you for taking the time to look things up for me when you are having such a tricky time personally.  I was very sad to read your posting and hear your news.  Death of someone you love is never easy to deal with but when it comes just "out of the blue".....

I hope that finding the right reading for the funeral will help you feel you have done one last wonderful thing for them.

Best wishes, Celine

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Honorary life member

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Date: Jan 24 6:07 PM, 2011
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Hi again Celine,

It's my pleasure, I love to delve into my Poldark books at any opportunity.  Your course sounds interesting and I know how difficult people find coping with death and loss.  I used to work with Infant School children and worked on a one-to-one basis with two particular children who had sadly lost parents and as a result were suffering from behavioural problems.  Re-reading this passage has been very therapeutic for me as very sadly, this week I suffered a bereavement in my family which came very suddenly and was a terrible shock.  It has made me start to re-evaluate things and, as much of WG's writing is apt to do, hit to the very core of what really matters in life.  As always, WG writes with such great understanding and gets right to the heart of the things in life that really matter.

I have a favourite little quote which I brought again to mind this week:

"Learn to appreciate what you have.,before time forces you to appreciate what you've lost.."

It's one of those simple and sensible verses which we all know is so full of truth, but which, in the rush and tear of our busy lives, many of us forget and I think this is exactly what the ever wise, sensitive and loving Demelza was trying to explain to Ross.

I have been spending time this week searching for a suitable reading for the funeral, something not too morbid, but striking the right balance between happy and melancholy, without being overly religious.  Perhaps I should look through my Poldark books again to see if there is a paragraph I could use, I would love to be able to read something from my favourite writer.

Anyway, 'The Angry Tide' was first published in 1977 by William Collins Sons & Co Ltd, but the edition I used was published in 2008 by Pan Books an imprint of Pan MacMillan Ltd.

Hope this helps, but feel free to ask anything else you want, I'll be happy to help. biggrin









-- Edited by namparagirl on Monday 24th of January 2011 06:19:28 PM

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Tide was nearly full. Mist lay in a grey scarf along the line of the cliffs.
.. and they walked home hand in hand through the slanting shadows of the new darkness.



Newbie

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Date: Jan 24 2:15 PM, 2011
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Oh thank you so much for such a comprehensive and helpful reply!  It's sent shivers down my spine reading those words again.

The course I'm doing is actually called "Death and Dying"; I am studying with a view to becoming a volunteer counsellor.

Could you possibly let me know the publisher and date published too?  I need it for my reference.

I can see that when my studies are over reading these books again is going to be a must!


-- Edited by Celine on Monday 24th of January 2011 02:32:12 PM

-- Edited by Celine on Monday 24th of January 2011 02:33:53 PM

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Honorary life member

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Date: Jan 24 12:29 PM, 2011
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Hi Celine and lovely to hear from you.  Like you, I watched the TV series when I was a teenager and so began my love affair with the books from the wonderful pen of Winston Graham.  

I know the passages you refer to, they are also some of my favourite lines and you are right, so relevant to us all and full of wisdom.  You will find them at the end of the book 'The Angry Tide', in my book, Chapter 16, Book 3, page 610 onwards.  Hope this helps you with your essay.  What course are you studying with the Open Uni, love to know.

Hope you will post here again Celine, it's always great to hear from members who may have been around for some time, but who don't post very often.  Good luck with the essay.

Best wishes biggrin

PS.  Sorry, just re-read your post and realised you may not still have the book to hand, so I'll type out the passage you refer to here:

He said: "What I have seen last night - makes me sick at heart - sick for all the charm and beauty that is lost - in Elizabeth.  But most of all it makes me afraid.'
'Afraid, Ross? What of?'
'Of losing you, I suppose,'
'There's little chance.'
'I don't mean to another man - though that was bad enough.  I mean just of losing you physically, as a person, as a companion, as a human presence being beside me and with me all my life.'
Her heart opened to him.  'Ross,' she said, 'there's no chance.  Unless you throw me out.'
'It's not a chance, it's a certainty,' he said.  'Seeing Elizabeth like that ... We are at the end of a century, at the end of an era....'
'It's just a date.'
'No, it isn't.  It's - it's a watershed.  We have come up so far; now we look down.'
'We look onwards, surely.'
'Onwards and down.  D'you realize there will come a time, there will have to come a time, when I shall never hear your voice again, or you mine?  It may be sentimental to say this, but this - this fact is something I find intolerable, unthinkable, beyond bearing ...'
Demelza moved from her chair suddenly, knelt to the fire and picked up the bellows and began to work them.  It was to disguise the tears that had lurched to the edge of her lashes.  She realized that he had reached some ultimate darkness of the soul, that he struggled in deep waters, and that perhaps only she could stretch out a hand.
'Ross, you mustn't be afraid.  It's not like you.  Tisn't in your nature.'
'Perhaps one changes as one grows older.'
'It mustn't.'
He watched her. 'Aren't you ever afraid?'
'Yes. Oh yes.  Maybe every moment of the day if I allowed myself to think.  But you can't live, not that way, if you think like that.  I'm here.  You're here.  The children are upstairs.  That's all that matters at this moment, at this time.  The - the blood is in my veins.  It's in yours.  Our hearts beat.  Our eyes see.  Our ears hear.  We smell and talk and feel.'
She turned and squatted beside him on the carpet, and he put his arm round her, staring sightlessly into the dark.
She said: 'And we're together.  Isn't that important?'
'Even when it was like it was in London?'
'That mustn't ever be again.'
'No,' he said.  'That mustn't ever be again.'
'Of course there has to be an end,' she said.  'Of course.  For that is what everyone has faced since the world began.  And this is - what do you call it? - intolerable.  It's intolerable!  So you must not think of it.  You must not face it.  Because it is a - certainty it has to be forgotten.  One cannot - must not - fear a certainty.  All we know is this moment, and this moment, Ross we are alive! We are. We are.  The past is over, gone.  What is to come doesn't exist yet.  That's tomorrow!  It's only now that can ever be, at any one moment.  And at this moment, now, we are alive - and together.  We can't ask more.  There isn't any more to ask.'








-- Edited by namparagirl on Monday 24th of January 2011 12:49:59 PM

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Tide was nearly full. Mist lay in a grey scarf along the line of the cliffs.
.. and they walked home hand in hand through the slanting shadows of the new darkness.



Newbie

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Posts: 3
Date: Jan 24 11:56 AM, 2011
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Hi, I am an old fan of the series, having watched it as a teenager (giving my age away here!) and lapped up the books - except the latest one, which I hadn't heard of until I found this forum.
I wonder if someone could help me please as I am trying to find a particular quote to use in an essay for my Open University course.
They have always stuck in my mind as being wise words but I need to know which book they are from as my copies have wandered over the years.....
It is a conversation between Demelza and Ross.  They are talking about death, and I am pretty sure it is right at the end of the book.  She says to him something along the lines of, "sooner or later we all go down into the dark, and we cannot - must not - fear a certainty". 
If someone could be kind enough to tell me the full correct quote, book title and page number I would be very grateful.
Thanks in advance.


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