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Post Info TOPIC: Hugh Armitage


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Date: Jun 13 4:34 AM, 2017
RE: Hugh Armitage
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LJones41 wrote:

Hugh didn't have to manipulate Demelza. I doubt very much that he really did. I think Demelza was already willing to have an affair with him, after Jud told her about Ross meeting with Elizabeth in the church yard. But I keep forgetting . . . Demelza is the "Precious One" . . . the one who can do no wrong, even if she is having an affair with another man.


You've made your point ... repeatedly. You don't like Demelza. But your argument is with WG. He wrote her in a way that makes it easier to overlook -- or maybe to understand -- her missteps. 

 



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If Hugh Armitage is a scoundrel, what does that make Ross?  Or Demelza, for that matter?



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This thread now confined to Hugh Armitage.

New topic opened "Demelza & Hugh Armitage" at....

http://poldark.activeboard.com/t62010632/demelza-hugh-armitage/



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Date: Apr 19 6:59 AM, 2016
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Hugh didn't have to manipulate Demelza. I doubt very much that he really did. I think Demelza was already willing to have an affair with him, after Jud told her about Ross meeting with Elizabeth in the church yard. But I keep forgetting . . . Demelza is the "Precious One" . . . the one who can do no wrong, even if she is having an affair with another man.

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I posted this previously elsewhere as part of another answer, but I think it probably belongs here.

Hugh Armitage was an entitled jerk and an emotional blackmailer. However, as much as I find him reprehensible, I have to think his brief existence in Demelza's and Ross' lives did each of them a bit of good. 

He gave Demelza the courtship she'd never had before she married Ross. She found the attention embarrassing and even rather silly, but she did keep every poem. After all, her own knight in shining armor (Ross) thought he was rescuing a boy, not a damsel in distress, when he broke up that fight at the Redruth Fair. Did she pity Hugh? I think so. Both for never having slept with someone he was in love with who was in love with him and for his impending death. Did she love him? As a friend who made her feel highly valued, the way Francis did, probably, but I doubt she was in love with him. It was sexual attraction, coupled with her need to make everything all better, that led her to agree to let him kiss her. He immediately started unbuttoning her clothes, which must have felt like a betrayal, but she didn't stop him. Why? He had said he wanted to make love to a woman he was in love once before he died. She couldn't cure him, but she could grant that wish. Call it mercy sex. 

As for Ross, he got a taste of his own medicine. He suffered a week of his wife being "unfaithful in spirit" (poor baby, I wonder whether he could endure months of it at a stretch the way Demelza had.):

"The Four Swans (Book 6)," Book 3, Chapter 9, Page 548 

... If she wanted to speak about Hugh, she could speak. If not, not. He did not know the meaning of the poem he had read; it might mean that Demelza had been unfaithful to him, it might all be poetic licence. He had not asked her and would not ask her.
What was plain during this week was that she was being unfaithful in spirit, her thoughts, her emotions, her heart, deeply engaged with another man. And that man was gravely ill. How did a husband feel? Jealous and injured? Inadequate and angry? Sympathetic and understanding? Why did one's throat tighten at every other thought?
 
Gee, Ross, maybe you should ask Demelza for advice. She must have several tips for developing coping skills. You certainly have given her ample opportunities to develop them. 
 
Does Demelza owe him an apology? No, not after he chided her about McNeil this way: 
 
"I take no pride in my visit to Elizabeth. But the thing was the outcome of a devotion which had lasted on my side for more than ten years. It was not some tawdry little passion worked up over the wine for a cheap satisfaction between dinner and supper! 
 
("Warleggan," Book 4, Chapter 7)
 
Whatever portion of that 10-plus-year devotion transpired after he was married to Demelza constituted ongoing unfaithfulness of spirit. Shall we say, "Gander, meet sauce."?  
       


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Date: Apr 13 4:17 PM, 2016
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pint-of-mild wrote:

 

I find Hugh incredibly manipulative.  The way he presents himself to Demelza, the things that he says, his condescension, are completely inappropriate.  I'm utterly disappointed in her for letting him get what he wants. 

 

Give those away and they are gone for ever..."

She's right, trust and loyalty are part of enduring love, maybe they're not so important to Hugh.  I think that you should treat others how you wish to be treated, Demelza touches on this as she thinks about how she would feel if Ross were seeing Elizabeth again, she wouldn't like that, so why do it to Ross?

 


 I do agree with you about Hugh and how he played on Demelza's kindness  but he was a character that had no moral fibre as we have discussed before. It is Demelza that I am most disappointed with in this whole encounter, she is the one that broke her vow, she is the one that was disloyal and untrustworthy. She has to remind herself to feel guilty about it and even after Hugh dies she says that her tears are not tears penitence. She never admits to the encounter, I won't say affair because that is not what it was, but she never apologizes for the pain and hurt she causes Ross. I found the whole episode very disturbing, very dishonest and Demelza attitude almost cavalier.



-- Edited by MrsMartin on Saturday 16th of April 2016 03:47:22 PM

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I'm currently re-reading the Four Swans and last night read through Demelza and Hugh's seal trip and her reflections on the events a few days later.

I find Hugh incredibly manipulative.  The way he presents himself to Demelza, the things that he says, his condescension, are completely inappropriate.  I'm utterly disappointed in her for letting him get what he wants.  He says:

"Let me explain about one thing first.  You think it is a terrible thing, asking you to be disloyal to Ross.  And on the narrowest terms it is.  But - how can I try to make it more clear?  By giving love you do not diminish it.  By loving me you would not destroy your love for Ross.  Love only creates and adds to itself, it never destroys.  You do not betray your love for Ross by offering some of you love to me.  You add to it.  Tenderness is not like money: the more you give to one, the more you have for others..."

Urgh...what a sleazeball!  And he says all of this after he's told her that he's been discharged from the navy and is going blind, playing on her empathy?  He also says that he won't stay to dinner because if Ross should return, he would feel embarrassed, so what they have done was wrong?  If it was right, there'd be no need to feel embarrassed, would there?

Days later, when Ross returns, Demelza thinks on;

"Love only adds to itself, it never destroys.  Tenderness is not like money.  But neither is trust, Hugh, neither is trust.  Neither is loyalty.  You can give those away and they are gone for ever, Hugh.  Though only a part of love, they are a vital part, gathered, stored, built up over the years, like something growing round love, protecting it, warming it, adding another strength to it and another savour.  Give those away and they are gone for ever..."

She's right, trust and loyalty are part of enduring love, maybe they're not so important to Hugh.  I think that you should treat others how you wish to be treated, Demelza touches on this as she thinks about how she would feel if Ross were seeing Elizabeth again, she wouldn't like that, so why do it to Ross?

I wonder what would have happened if Hugh hadn't died.  Would he have grown bored with Demelza after a time?  Would the whole affair have come to a natural denouement?  I can hardly imagine her leaving Ross to run away with Hugh.  I can hardly imagine Ross standing aside and letting that happen.



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Aye aye - Mrs Martin!  Despicable (in his own words) actions indeed!



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LJones41 wrote:

One does not covet thy neighbours wife or repay the man who saved your life by cuckolding him, simple as that.

 

 

And one does not deliberately have sex with someone other than your spouse.  It's as simple as that.  Demelza's behavior might as well be judged just as contemptible as Hugh's.  And her being one half of some literary "golden couple" does not alter that.  To judge her as less responsible or less reprehensible as Hugh strikes me as hypocritical.


I will reiterate, the subject of this thread is Hugh Armitage not Demelza. I have expressed my views on his character and his behaviour, I have also stated that it is his pursuit of her that I found offensive and outside the realms of common decency. I do not find that I am being hypocritical in stating this and if you read the previous post, you will see that I have already stated that I believe that Demelza's infidelity was worse than Ross'. However, Demelza did not pursue Hugh and Demelza did not go out of her way to see Hugh with the intent of seducing him.  

He said : `Demelza. `Yes: `I wish youd let me make love to you. `Jesus God, she said. `Oh, I know it is ill of me to say such a thing. I know it is both unfair and indiscreet of me even to, utter such a thought. I know it looks as if I am trading on this kindness you are doing to me in an unforgivable way. I know it seems - must seem utterly despicable of me to attempt, or even to think of attempting, the virtue of a woman married to the man who saved me from prison. I know all that. 

Hugh's words not mine.  If you wish to take exception to them that is fine. Yes, I find him to be utterly despicable. 



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One does not covet thy neighbours wife or repay the man who saved your life by cuckolding him, simple as that.

 

 

And one does not deliberately have sex with someone other than your spouse.  It's as simple as that.  Demelza's behavior might as well be judged just as contemptible as Hugh's.  And her being one half of some literary "golden couple" does not alter that.  To judge her as less responsible or less reprehensible as Hugh strikes me as hypocritical.



-- Edited by LJones41 on Saturday 30th of January 2016 05:50:56 AM



-- Edited by LJones41 on Saturday 30th of January 2016 05:51:52 AM

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pint-of-mild wrote:

My animosity towards Hugh Armitage comes from my complete and utter bias towards Ross and Demelza as my ultimate, romantic couple.  Anything that threatens that, including Hugh and Elizabeth, upsets me. 


My animosity for Hugh Armitage does not come from his interlude with Demelza, my animosity for Hugh comes from his behaviour,  I find nothing redeemable in his character.  I will agree that Demelza should not have allowed the situation with Hugh Armitage to develop to the stage that it did and that she was well equip to have stopped it. I will also say that I find Demelza's interlude with Hugh, somehow more reprehensible than Ross' with Elizabeth. For I believe that what happened between Ross and Elizabeth was something akin to an emotional explosion, whereas Demelza just surrendered the fight to stay true to her marriage. However, Hugh should not have pursued her in the first place, according to the code of conduct of a Christian Officer and a Gentleman. One does not covet thy neighbours wife or repay the man who saved your life by cuckolding him, simple as that. 



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My animosity towards Hugh Armitage comes from my complete and utter bias towards Ross and Demelza as my ultimate, romantic couple.  Anything that threatens that, including Hugh and Elizabeth, upsets me. 

This sounds strange, but it almost feels as though my own mother has cheated on my father!  Those are the sort of feelings it conjures up in me!  It upsets me so much when I read those parts in the book, I find it hard to read.

Yes, Demelza was wrong in her actions.  There were many actions that she could have taken to change the course of events, but she didn't.  It all makes for a cracking good read and does, indeed, humanise her.  I'm sure that we have all done things which we regret, and Demelza is no different.

My dislike for Hugh spawns more from my love and idolisation of Demelza as my favourite heroine of all time. 

 



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Why do you not understand the animosity towards Hugh? Do you believe that his relentless pursuit of Demelza, a married woman, a woman married to the man that saved his life, acceptable? Do you believe that him cuckolding Ross was acceptable?

 

 

Why are you only condemning Hugh Armitage for the affair and not Demelza?  She was not some dimwitted adolescent with no sexual experience.  Demelza was in her mid-20s at the time of the affair and a mother.  More importantly, Hugh wasn't the first man with whom she had contemplated having an affair.  He didn't force her into the relationship.  He didn't trick her.  She was intelligent and strong-willed enough to put a stop to his pursuit.  And if that didn't work, she could have turned to Ross.

 

She didn't.



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missykly wrote:

I also do not understand the animosity towards Hugh.  He is brought into the story to widen the experience and understanding of Demelza who had lived her life with a man torn between two women.  In that instant with Hugh, she understands what that is.  She does not love Ross any less and in many ways more, just as Ross did after his night with Elizabeth.  

 

Even though Ross is torn over what he perceives as a "betrayal", he realizes the feelings that she must have had since the day they met.  Life is full of things that we wish hadn't happened but as life goes on, we realize that without those "regrets" we would not be the person we became because of them.


 Why do you not understand the animosity towards Hugh? Do you believe that his relentless pursuit of Demelza, a married woman, a woman married to the man that saved his life, acceptable? Do you believe that him cuckolding Ross was acceptable? 

I believe that you are right, that in many ways Demelza's interlude with Hugh gave her a better understanding of Ross and even a deeper love for Ross. I also believe that this interlude help to bring an equitable balance to their marriage. However, the topic of this thread is Hugh Armitage and he was not a honourable gentleman.



-- Edited by MrsMartin on Friday 22nd of January 2016 03:29:34 PM

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I also do not understand the animosity towards Hugh.  He is brought into the story to widen the experience and understanding of Demelza who had lived her life with a man torn between two women.  In that instant with Hugh, she understands what that is.  She does not love Ross any less and in many ways more, just as Ross did after his night with Elizabeth.  

 

Even though Ross is torn over what he perceives as a "betrayal", he realizes the feelings that she must have had since the day they met.  Life is full of things that we wish hadn't happened but as life goes on, we realize that without those "regrets" we would not be the person we became because of them.



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However, I love reading these books because Graham's characters are so three-dimensional and realistic, Demelza's actions make her all the more believable as a real human being. Nobody can be so perfect all the time...


I don't understand. Hugh is disliked and condemned because his affair with Demelza was a threat to her marriage to Ross . . . yet, her actions in this affair simply made her more human and realistic? Shouldn't the same be said about the both of them? Both are equally guilty for the affair. Why not simply acknowledge that Demelza's actions were as much a threat as Hugh's . . . or that the affair made both of them human in a realistic manner?

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Interesting, LJones41, Hugh enticing Demelza the way he did would have been very appealing to her.  I never thought about the 'romance' Demelza missed out on due to the nature and evolution of her relationship with Ross.

I must admit, it is a part in the book that I detest.  I don't like Hugh purely because he's a threat to my favourite couple of all time and his nature of pursuit (for all the reasons listed below) makes me cringe. 

However, I love reading these books because Graham's characters are so three-dimensional and realistic, Demelza's actions make her all the more believable as a real human being.  Nobody can be so perfect all the time...



-- Edited by pint-of-mild on Friday 8th of January 2016 05:24:44 PM

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I do not feel the same about Hugh the way many others do. Frankly, I'm glad that Demelza had him in her life. At least with him, she was able to experience a genuine romance with someone she was not emotionally or financially beholden to . . . someone on an equal level. Besides, if one is going to condemn Hugh for pursuing Demelza, one might as well condemn her for having the affair. To condemn one party in the affair and condone the other party member doesn't seem right to me. Either the actions of both should be condemned or condoned.

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MrsMartin - couldn't agree more. I detest his character . . .fatal illness or no. Poetry or no. His pursuit is detestable is several different ways. A probable massive ingredient as to how I feel on this whole part is how I viewed Demelza up to this book, because in this type of transgression, yes, there is a pursuer, but the pursued has to allow herself to be caught.



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Hello, 

I might be late to this party but having read all the posts, I feel slightly differently from others here, not where Hugh Armitage is concerned though. Hugh Armitage was not a gentleman, to persistently entice another man's wife, let alone the man who has rescued you from a French jail, to is contemptible. I have tried to understand Demelza's attraction to him and I'm not sure that I do, but then again he is not my type of man(boy). Where I differ from the opinions expressed here, is that I do not believe that revenge had anything to do with why Demelza had allowed this event to take place, pity maybe but not revenge. Demelza capitulates after being relentlessly pursued, gives up the fight to stay loyal and true to her marriage, not out of love for Hugh or to even the score with Ross for his infidelity but sympathy . 

There has been much discussions on other boards that I have been on, whether it is possible to love two people at the same time and of course it is. We all love more than one person at time but because love is such a multi-faceted emotion, it is expressed differently for each person. Does Demelza ever love Hugh in the way she loves Ross? No. Does Ross ever love Elizabeth in the way he love Demelza? Again no. Does that mean that they both committed adultery with people that they didn't love? No. Hugh plays on the sweetness of Demelza character, her sympathies. Elizabeth represents an unrealized dream for Ross. Both Ross and Demelza,  have a certain "love" for their adulterous partners but neither of them are necessarily "in love" with them.

By allowing Hugh into her heart on a superficial level Demelza now understands how it is possible to have someone other that Ross touch her heart and therefore, she is then able to relate to Ross feelings for Elizabeth. Ross is the one that is now faced with a situation that he had never anticipated, Ross has a tendency to put the women he loves on a pedestal and he  never doubted Demelza's loyalty, he is devastated by her betrayal of heart, as he sees it. 

I have always hated this part of the story and would always shy away from it, but in retrospect, I believe that it was very necessary in each partner obtaining an equal footing in their marriage.



-- Edited by MrsMartin on Sunday 18th of October 2015 08:48:12 PM

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Hi  Missykly, 

This  topic is the rub hey. We have often ruminated upon it and have reached several verdicts! Greetings from Australia by the way.



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Agreed but I was referring to the very deep and comparable Elizabeth and Hugh levels not the shallow Bodrugan one....



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She tried to even the score when she went to Bodrugan's party and ran home - s that points out to her that cheating for the sake of cheating isn't going to happen for her.  As Ross says repeatedly about Hugh.  He doesn't know if she did; he suspects that she did and the only evidence is the poem which isn't really evidence.  Caroline (who does know but doesn't share with him) points out to him that Monk Adderley is just his reacting to something he thinks may have happened and all of his rage is misdirected because ultimately, Demelza was never going to leave Ross for Hugh.



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Hi and welcome to the forum missykly, hope you enjoy it all and have some interesting discussions.... smile

Good point you raise about Demelza gaining a deeper understanding of Ross because of Hugh. I've often wondered being on such a deep level for both of them, if there was also a subconscious element of evening the score in there somewhere for her as well - a woman scorned etc....?



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Since the books are the story of duality, Hugh's presence is the duality of Ross (taking Elizabeth in the heat of passion when it is just him taking something denied him forever)  Demelza's affair with Hugh is a slow growing conflict of feelings and once done, she has a new understanding of Ross's feelings for Elizabeth.  She had up until then considered herself "second" despite her conversation with Francis.  It was after Hugh that she understood holding two people similarly in one's heart.  As WG wrote, she didn't feel much different after and in fact, realized that it did not change anything of her feelings for Ross.



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UCMJ Charge For Armitage.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conduct_unbecoming_an_officer_and_a_gentleman

 

Conduct unbecoming an officer and a gentleman (or conduct unbecoming for short) is an offense subject to court martial defined in the punitive code, Article 133, of the United States Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ), enacted at 10 U.S.C. § 933.

The elements are:

  1. That the accused did or omitted to do certain acts; and
  2. That, in the circumstances, these acts or omissions constituted conduct unbecoming an officer and gentleman.[1]

Here "officer" is understood to include commissioned officers, cadets, and midshipmen of both sexes, hence the more common term conduct unbecoming. A gentleman is understood to have a duty to avoid dishonest acts, displays of indecency, lawlessness, dealing unfairly, indecorum, injustice, or acts of cruelty



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RE: Hugh Armitage
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Well, i have reread what i have previously written about Hughie and i have nothing more to add, still too young, too intense and too wet! 



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Hugh Armitage.



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RE: HUGH ARMITAGE - GENTLEMAN, POET, SCOUNDREL, SNAKE, WIMP, WEASEL, TOAD etc etc??????
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I like Char's description of him: 'too young, too intense and too WET'!

So different to others who made a play for her, like Sir Hugh, the Scots Greys Captain with the curly 'tache (his name escapes me for the moment), and even that French emigre with the appalling English accent which was used to great comic effect when he made improper suggestions to Demelza.  They were honest enough to put their cards on the table, but Hugh caught her unawares with his apparent gentleness ('I'm a poet, don't you know it . . .')

I would add the adjective 'self-centred' to the epithets above!



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So again, it seems the general consensus is for 'scoundrel, snake, wimp, weasel or toad'!! biggrin

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thanks namparagirl for the literary reference though my bad for not seeing your previous post. i did read the books but it was nearly 30 yrs ago. must get back to them someday.

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I agree with you new yawker, Hugh Armitage manipulated and took advantage of Demelza's good heart and vulnerability and spun a web of flattery and romance which she found herself caught in and powerless to escape.

In the TV series, what happened was left purely for the imagination of the viewer, but in the book 'The Four Swans' Demelza's innermost thoughts and feelings about the situation are revealed and leaves us in no doubt about what actually happened:

...................................................................

Nor could she really pretend to herself that she had been swept away by Hugh's romantic approach.  Of course, it was delightful to be someone's chivalrous ideal.  But she was altogether of the wrong temperament to be much affected by it.  She knew well enough that such a poetic view of love was impossible to sustain, and she had made this clear to him all through their friendship.  Indeed his extravagances, charming though they were, would have tended to defeat their own object.  (Was it unfair to him to suppose that he had tried to charm her, to weave a spell around her, to hypnotize her with idealistic attitudes and beautiful words?  Perhaps it was unfair, for his sincerity could hardly be doubted.)  Anyway, she had refused to be so hynotized.  Yet in the end she had not refused him.  She had given herself to him with warmth and sensuous ease.  There had been little or no embarrassment.  It had happened, cut off from the rest of the world, under the hot sun.
.................................................................

Hallowed by sea and sand
Beauty was in my hand.
In taking her I came
Moth to the whitest flame,
Body caressed and turned
Wings of desire unburned.
Lips to my lips unfold
Tale of our love is told.
Yet there can be no end,
In love our lives extend,
And if this day be all
Proud is my heart's recall
Proud is my funeral pall.

It didn't seem to have altered his attitude as yet, or to have 'cured' him of anything at all.  Then had it cured her?  But cured her of what?  A compulsive sensuous impulse to lie with another man for once in her life?  A perverse desire to be unfaithful to the man she loved?  A wish to give happiness, if it was in her power, to someone sorely threatened?  A sudden moral lapse, lying in the warm sand with the salt water drying on her body?

The odd and slightly disconcerting thing was that she was not quite sure that she had anything to be cured of.  She felt no less in love with Ross than before - perhaps, perversely, a little more so.  She felt no different - or very little different - towards Hugh Armitage.  She was taken with him, warmed by his love and returning some of it.  The experience, the physical experience, if one could separate it even in one's thoughts from the heart-stopping tension and sweet excitement of the day, had not in essence varied from what she had known before.  She did not feel that she was becoming in any real way a light woman.  She did not see it as a happening that was likely to recur.  It was just a trifle disconcerting that she did not feel very much changed in any way as a result of it.

That was not to say that she had spent a happy two days since.  At times the discomfort and apprehension she felt might well have been mistaken for bitter remorse for wrong-doing.  Unfortunately the remorse was something of which she had to remind herself rather than a sensation welling up naturally from her conscience.  The true discomfort grew out of something different.  At the moment, what had happened on Tuesday was an event in isolation, unconnected with the past, unattached to the future.  But if Ross knew of it, even got to suspect it, then the anonymity of the experience would be shattered, the isolation broken into, and her life with him might be laid waste.

It was not an agreeable thought, and standing at the window with little shivers going through her body in the warm night, she did not much like herself.  It seemed to her that if she had committed adultery it was for the wrong reasons, and if she was sorry she had committed it, it was again for the wrong reasons.



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Tide was nearly full. Mist lay in a grey scarf along the line of the cliffs.
.. and they walked home hand in hand through the slanting shadows of the new darkness.



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Date: Sep 13 2:13 PM, 2010
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certainly not a gentlemen. more wimp, weasel, snake ... much different than bedrugan or mcneill. if ross had not been burdened by the guilt of his infidelity, hugh's advances for demelza could likely have been justification for a duel. though obviously flattered, charmed and fond of him, she held off his advances for quite a while until he ultimately played the sympathy card and played the hurt little boy. give him credit for being persistent.

this is one area where i have to give some credit to george as his courtship for elizabeth was handled with honor and in a gentlemanly manner and he didn't make a serious move until after her mourning period for francis' was over.

btw, from the tv series, it's not clear how far demelza & hugh actually went. sure they started kissing on the beach but "favor" of a single day could have been no more than that - and spending a beautiful day on the beach together.

-- Edited by new yawker on Monday 13th of September 2010 02:13:53 PM

-- Edited by new yawker on Monday 13th of September 2010 02:14:36 PM

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Date: Apr 22 8:40 PM, 2010
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I still cant believe Demelza would have even looked at any other man, it was so out of character and i ve never accepted that Hugh Armitage would have that much appeal for her.
Monk Adderley was a joke but obviously a victim of his childhood, very much like Valentine would have turned out had he lived , methinks!

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Date: Apr 22 8:15 PM, 2010
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I think Monk Adderley is the one who deserves scorn and insults heaped upon him! Horrible man, really skin crawlingly unpleasant wasn't he? He really thought he was irrisitable to women. Then he asks Demelza all those personal quesions, which he had no right to ask. I could have applauded her for making him leave!
No wonder Ross hated him :)

-- Edited by QueenMab on Thursday 22nd of April 2010 08:16:01 PM

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Date: Apr 21 10:00 PM, 2010
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Still think he was a bit of a limp weasel, but at least he died happy!! lol

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Tide was nearly full. Mist lay in a grey scarf along the line of the cliffs.
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Date: Apr 21 9:51 PM, 2010
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LOL! If he had been healthy, poor hugh! you have made me feel sorry for him now!

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Date: Apr 21 9:38 PM, 2010
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QueenMab, absolutely agree with you and have posted my thoughts on this subject before.  Demelza had found, much to her own dismay and at the height of her anger and heartbreak, during the episode at the Hunt Ball at Werry House with Malcolm McNeil, that Ross was the only man for her.  Hugh Armitage played on her feelings, took advantage of her soft-hearted, sympathetic nature and entangled her with his romantic words and ardent pursuit.  She would never have become so involved if he had been healthy.

I can't resist adding this snippet where Demelza is wrestling with her conscience about her feelings for Hugh:

'To her Ross had always been one step more than just a husband.  He had, as it were, almost created her out of the nothing that she had once been, a starving brat barely able to see or think beyond the horizons of her immediate needs, illiterate, uncouth, lice-ridden.  In thirteen odd years she had grown with his encouragement, into a woman of some modest attainments, someone who could read and write and talk a fair English and play the piano and sing and mix and not merely in the company of gentlefolk but, recently, in the company of the great.  More than that, he had married her, given her his love - most of the time - his loving care - all the time - his trust, his confidence, a fine home, servants to do any work she did not want to do, and three beautiful children, two of whom survived.  And she had betrayed all that in a sudden unexpected quirk of pity and love and passion for a man she scarcely knew who happened to call and ask.

It was not quite credible.  Some years ago when Ross had gone to Elizabeth, had left her, deserted her, and gone off to Elizabeth, she had herself ridden alone to a ball at the Bodrugans' determined to revenge herself in the only way open to her, and had thrown herself at a Scottish army officer called Malcolm McNeil.  But when it came to the point, when she found herself alone in her room with a strange man who was trying affectionately to undress her, she had repelled him, actually with force, had bitten him like the brat she was and had made her escape.  Whatever Ross did, she had found, almost to her own fury, that she was Ross's woman and wanted - indeed could accept - no other man.  Then when the motive was there, goading her on, with the absolute certain knowledge of Ross's unfaithfulness burning into her sould, she had been unable to be unfaithful in return.

Now, with no more than a suspicion that Ross was again meeting Elizabeth on the quiet, she had allowed herself to slip gently into the infidelity she had thought impossible in herself. 

She peered out at the night.  It was going no darker; behind the house a moon was rising.

But to be honest she could not allow herself even the luxury of blaming her lapse on Jud's tale-telling, on Ross's secret meetings.  It had of course been in the back of her mind all these months, a little corrosive eating away at her normal contentment; and on the soft sand beside the Seal Hole Cave with the cliffs towering and a man kneeling in the sand watching her, the knowledge had come suddenly to the forefront and on the instant eroded her will.  But it could only have done that if the impulses were already so strong within her that they seized any excuse to have their way.  It was an excuse, she knew that with certainty.  A good one or a bad one, who knew? But an excuse for what was inexcusable.

Nor could she really pretend to herself that she had been swept away by Hugh's romantic approach.  Of course, it was delightful to be someone's chivalrous ideal.  But she was altogether of the wrong temperament to be much affected by it.  She knew well enough that such a poetic view of love was impossible to sustain, and she had made this clear to him all through their friendship.  Indeed his extravagances, charming though they were, would have tended to defeat their own object.  (Was it unfair to him to suppose that he had tried to charm her, to weave a spell around her, to hypnotize her with idealistic attitudes and beautiful words?  Perhaps it was unfair, for his sincerity could hardly be doubted.)  Anyway, she had refused to be so hynotized.  Yet in the end she had not refused him.  She had given herself to him with warmth and sensuous ease.  There had been little or no embarrassment.  It had happened, cut off from the rest of the world, under the hot sun.
.................................................................

Hallowed by sea and sand
Beauty was in my hand.
In taking her I came
Moth to the whitest flame,
Body caressed and turned
Wings of desire unburned.
Lips to my lips unfold
Tale of our love is told.
Yet there can be no end,
In love our lives extend,
And if this day be all
Proud is my heart's recall
Proud is my funeral pall.

It didn't seem to have altered his attitude as yet, or to have 'cured' him of anything at all.  Then had it cured her?  But cured her of what?  A compulsive sensuous impulse to lie with another man for once in her life?  A perverse desire to be unfaithful to the man she loved?  A wish to give happiness, if it was in her power, to someone sorely threatened?  A sudden moral lapse, lying in the warm sand with the salt water drying on her body?

The odd and slightly disconcerting thing was that she was not quite sure that she had anything to be cured of.  She felt no less in love with Ross than before - perhaps, perversely, a little more so.  She felt no different - or very little different - towards Hugh Armitage.  She was taken with him, warmed by his love and returning some of it.  The experience, the physical experience, if one could separate it even in one's thoughts from the heart-stopping tension and sweet excitement of the day, had not in essence varied from what she had known before.  She did not feel that she was becoming in any real way a light woman.  She did not see it as a happening that was likely to recur.  It was just a trifle disconcerting that she did not feel very much changed in any way as a result of it.

That was not to say that she had spent a happy two days since.  At times the discomfort and apprehension she felt might well have been mistaken for bitter remorse for wrong-doing.  Unfortunately the remorse was something of which she had to remind herself rather than a sensation welling up naturally from her conscience.  The true discomfort grew out of something different.  At the moment, what had happened on Tuesday was an event in isolation, unconnected with the past, unattached to the future.  But if Ross knew of it, even got to suspect it, then the anonymity of the experience would be shattered, the isolation broken into, and her life with him might be laid waste.

It was not an agreeable thought, and standing at the window with little shivers going through her body in the warm night, she did not much like herself.  It seemed to her that if she had committed adultery it was for the wrong reasons, and if she was sorry she had committed it, it was again for the wrong reasons.

...................

She turned from the bedroom window and looked about her at the familiar room.  The teak beams running lengthwise of the ceiling, the new green velvet curtain over the door, the window seat with its pink grogram hanging; the wardrobe door ajar and a corner of the frock, the green frock, peering out like a guilty secret; Ross's dark head and regular breathing.  My lovely one, no hurt shall come to you from anything I say.  But what of the things you write?  In the sort of company in which Hugh was brought up, possibly letters were brought on a platter to the breakfast table by a manservant and everyone was too well bred to ask even whom a communication was from, let alone expect to see its contents.  In Nampara household, on the other hand, such was the amity and friendship between them, that Ross always tossed any letters he received across to her to read after, and she, on the rare occasions when she had one, automatically did the same.  However folded within another letter, the last poem was dangerous indeed.

..............

She came back to the bed.  She wondered for a moment if perhaps she had been dismissing Hugh's romantic persuasions too lightly.  What had he said?  By giving love you do not diminish it.  Love only adds to itself, it never destroys.  Tenderness is not like money; the more you give to one the more you have for others.  Perhaps there was hard common sense in this as well as poetry.  Certainly there was, if one could overcome loyalty and possessiveness and jealousy and trust.  But how could one?  What if Ross had been sleeping with Elizabeth?  What if his story about aiding in the arrest of the miners were an untruth and he had spent the night in Elizabeth's arms?  How would she feel then?  That Ross's love had grown for her because he had been intimate with another woman's body?  Love only adds to itself, it never destroys.  Tenderness is not like money.  But neither is trust, Hugh, neither is trust.  Neither is loyalty.  You can give those away and they are gone forever, Hugh.  Though only a part of love, they are a vital part, gathered, stored, built up over the years, like something growing round love, protecting it, warming it, adding another strength to it and another savour.  Give those away and they are gone for ever...........

She drew back the thin sheet and slid in beside Ross, very cautiously so as not to wake him.  She lay on her back for a moment, wide eyed, silent breathed, staring at the half-dark ceiling.  Then Ross moved, as if conscious that she had been away and had come back.  He did not put his arm around her but his hand came to rest on hers while he slept. heart.gif'




-- Edited by namparagirl on Wednesday 21st of April 2010 09:45:57 PM

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Tide was nearly full. Mist lay in a grey scarf along the line of the cliffs.
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Date: Apr 21 7:29 PM, 2010
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I don't think that anything would have happened with Demelza and Hugh, if Ross hadn't have gone to Elizabeth that night. It broke their trust and Demelza was still stinging then Hugh came along. A tragic, romantic figure, so flattering and devoted.

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Date: Apr 21 12:13 AM, 2010
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It's such a good thing we all have our own points of view isn't it, mine is that Hugh Armitage couldn't hold a candle to Ross Poldark!  I was sad that he died but Demelza would soon have tired of his pathetic poetry had he lived .... I think he was a weasel for seducing the wife of the man who saved his life.



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Tide was nearly full. Mist lay in a grey scarf along the line of the cliffs.
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Date: Apr 20 5:24 PM, 2010
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The only way i would have liked Hugh Armitage was if Robert Pattinson played his character biggrinbiggrin



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Date: Apr 20 5:17 PM, 2010
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Your not alone Lady Harriet in liking Hugh Armitage! I though he was deep, tender lovely young man and I prefer him to Ross.

Ive started WW3 now!



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Date: Jun 19 9:59 PM, 2009
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Should have known better then, you know they say it makes you go blind!!!! eyepopping.gif

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Tide was nearly full. Mist lay in a grey scarf along the line of the cliffs.
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Date: Jun 19 4:13 PM, 2009
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Then again they both knew his eyesight was going.... 



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Date: Jun 19 3:42 PM, 2009
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Poor Demelza, she really did try to stay true, a momentary weakness, she just got carried away by Hugh's ardent adoration and single minded passionate pursuit of her.  He pushed her into a corner and made it extremely difficult for her, after all we're all red blooded human beings aren't we.  He should have known better ........... NOT the act of a gentleman, he played on her kind, generous and sensitive nature.  Yes, she should have been good and strong and resisted, but none of us are perfect are we - especially Ross!!!wink

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Tide was nearly full. Mist lay in a grey scarf along the line of the cliffs.
.. and they walked home hand in hand through the slanting shadows of the new darkness.



Graduate

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Date: Jun 19 12:24 AM, 2009
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Lady Harriet, your loyalty to Hugh does you credit and I suppose if Demelza, whose good sense and wisdom I have always admired, can find him a worthy rival to Ross then maybe we should accept he was a genuinely nice guy. We should be glad he didnt appear during the time Ross was discussing Elizabeths marriage plans at Trenwith otherwise we might have had a different story altogether!


Wecome to the forum Tholly, you write very well with that hook! and are far better read than i would have expected for such a scoundrel! Look forward to reading more posts from you. 

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Date: Jun 17 10:48 AM, 2009
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biggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinwinkwinkwinkwink

Hi Tholly,

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm what a thought!!!! Could be fun for us ladies!

Not sure many husbands would be as agreeable as Ken , especially not Ross ...... crikey there'd be duels being fought all over the place!

 



-- Edited by namparagirl on Wednesday 17th of June 2009 10:58:51 PM

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Tide was nearly full. Mist lay in a grey scarf along the line of the cliffs.
.. and they walked home hand in hand through the slanting shadows of the new darkness.



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Date: Jun 17 8:39 AM, 2009
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Just a thought from the male point of view - Cuckold....smile

Found this interesting entry !

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cuckold%20affirmation

Cuckold affirmation

An event held by a woman who practices cuckoldry. This event is generally composed of a cuckold affirmation ceremony which has vows and rings or jewelry exchange. Typically there is some type of after-party and then a "Cuckymoon"

Betty has been cuckolding her husband Ken for several years. She loves her husband but find him to be sexually inadequate or boring. Betty has a boyfriend Tom and decides that she wants to make her status as a cuckoldress "official".

Betty decides she wants to hold her own cuckold affirmation. She and her husband plan out the event, invite some of their friends who know about their special marriage.

On the special day they hold a ceremony in their home. At the cermeony Betty asserts her rights as a cuckolding or hot-wife. During the vows Betty affirms her sexual rights and freedoms while Ken pledges his support for his wife's sexual freedom while he must remain faithful to her. Betty's boyfriend Tom promises to provide Betty with the sexual pleasure and satisfation that her cuckold husband cannot.

There is then a party afterward. That evening Betty and Tom go on their Cuckymoon.



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Date: Jun 17 7:39 AM, 2009
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Nooooooo!  I can't cope with all the Hugh bashing and must prostest his (relative) innocence.  He's just a boy.

I think that throughout your life, people will come into it who move you, excite you and maybe make you think of what might have been.  When this happens to those of us who are married, it is up to us to toe the line to avoid naughty situations arising!  Demelza was the one who had made the wedding vows, not Hugh. 

Gosh this is heavy for 7.30am!

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Date: Jun 16 12:35 AM, 2009
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, agree wholeheartedly with you Caroline ..... adding 'scumbag' to the list!!!wink

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Tide was nearly full. Mist lay in a grey scarf along the line of the cliffs.
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