Hollyhock wrote:Thanks Dark Mare--Demelza was more of a facilitator than a matchmaker. But interestingly (perhaps fortunately), Sam and Rosina's marriage was the one she didn't try to engineer.Fijane- I agree. I think her past experiences had given her a more mature outlook when it came to Sam and Rosina. Demelza "studiously avoided putting her (Rosina) into social contact with Sam...Enough was enough. Matchmakers could be a danger to the community." Considering her reputation (deserved or not), I've wondered if her marriage to Ross was also attributed to her matchmaking skills, even though it wasn't her goal at the time.
Thanks Dark Mare--Demelza was more of a facilitator than a matchmaker. But interestingly (perhaps fortunately), Sam and Rosina's marriage was the one she didn't try to engineer.
Fijane- I agree. I think her past experiences had given her a more mature outlook when it came to Sam and Rosina. Demelza "studiously avoided putting her (Rosina) into social contact with Sam...Enough was enough. Matchmakers could be a danger to the community."
Considering her reputation (deserved or not), I've wondered if her marriage to Ross was also attributed to her matchmaking skills, even though it wasn't her goal at the time.
And you're right. I'd forgotten about that. I suppose Demelza was once-burned, twice-shy where her brothers were concerned. She had ignored the shadow of Morwenna when she engineered the Drake-Rosina match, and she came to regret it. (Who would expect a clergyman to be murdered on a public street? Besides anyone who knew obnoxious Ossie, that is.) She could not risk having another of her brothers leave poor Rosina at the altar. But in the end she got what she wanted: Rosina as a sister-in-law.
I think Demelza's first "facilitation" was her father and Nellie, and it was by accident. Even before she went to the Redruth Fair, she knew Nellie had her eye on Tom Carne. And she knew as long as her father had her at home, he was not going to consider getting married again, especially to a religious woman. Once Demelza went to work for Ross, poor Tom was a sitting duck. (I like to think Nellie was really just trying to return the favor when she said she wanted Demelza to come home to help get ready for her child's forthcoming birth. Of course she didn't tell Tom that.)
Fijane wrote:It shows how Demelza had matured, when she arranged for Emma to go away. When she was arranging Verity and Andrew's meetings, she steadfastly refused to see any other point of view but the if-they-love-each-other-then-nothing-else-matters view. Maybe because the barriers for Sam and Emma were more intrinsic to their personalities, instead of objections from other people.
It shows how Demelza had matured, when she arranged for Emma to go away. When she was arranging Verity and Andrew's meetings, she steadfastly refused to see any other point of view but the if-they-love-each-other-then-nothing-else-matters view. Maybe because the barriers for Sam and Emma were more intrinsic to their personalities, instead of objections from other people.
The problem with Sam and Emma was each had the other on a pedestal, and one (Sam) had too much faith in other people and the other (Emma) had too little. Sam believed if the Methodists knew Emma better, they would know that she wasn't the slut she was reputed to be. Emma believed that even if they did change their minds about her morals, they would still judge her as unsuitable for their Sam because she allowed the lies about her to go unchallenged, which made her something of a liar.
As I think about this, I see a Ross and Demelza parallel. Demelza thought Ross was destined for greater things and feared she would hold him back, while Ross thought Demelza was a diamond in the rough who would be treasured by everyone once they got to know her.
I agree. Demelza was more a facilitator for couples who had already found each other than a matchmaker. Except for Rosina, who did Demelza introduce to prospective partners? That said, she was an accomplished facilitator, successfully helping Verity and Andrew Blamey, Drake and Morwenna Carne, Sam and Rosina Carne, and Ben and Esther Carter get to the altar and Emma Tregirls avoid marrying Sam. (That had to be a difficult one for Demelza because she knew how much her brother Sam loved Emma and how much she loved him. But she also knew that Emma was right about how Sam's congregation would react to her marrying Sam. Demelza really came through for them both. She got Emma a job at Tehidy, which gave her a chance to start fresh in a place where no one knew her reputation as a slut -- which wasn't even true -- and to meet her husband, and she got Sam together with Rosina, the girl Drake was going to marry before Morwenna became a widow.
Then again, Demelza was pretty good at employment matchmaking, putting workers and job openings together.
Is Demelza's matchmaking reputation deserved?
In addition to being a reputed animal whisperer, Demelza is considered a famous matchmaker. But, aside from the Verity-Blamey match, I'm not sure the reputation is justified.
WG certainly knew how to create great characters. Most of his female characters are strong and charismatic, not only in the poldark saga but in his other books. one of my favourites is Marnie. SHe is not particularly sympathetic as she is a cold and calculating criminal but there is something vulnerable and almost innocent about her which makes her very appealing.
A passionate child rolling in the dust with her ugly dog; a girl driving oxen; a woman....Did anything else matter?
Agree with all below.
Demelza is the glue that binds everything together at Nampara, and fortunately, Ross realises it (a bit belatedly), but once he does their relationship goes from strength to strength, with only an occasional hiccup.
WG wrote so beautifully about her blossoming under the Nampara roof, and discovering herself and the world around her. In the later books, especially, her thoughts and actions seem a natural progression from her earlier ones. WG seemed to really understand women.
I like to think that the arrival of the Gimletts helped Demelza in her quest for gentility. Left with Jud and Prudie, the transformation would have only been partly achieved. But she never forgot them and was always grateful for what they had done when she first arrived.
Philosophy and ethics, Demelza style:
I think this little snippet illustrates the fundamental essence which is Demelza:
From 'The Black Moon' - where Demelza and Drake are discussing Sam's wish for Demelza to turn to Christ -
'Oh, but he's not like Fathur. Fathur was a - was a bull. He'd fight for Christ in just the same way as he'd fight when he were drunk. Sam's gentle. He's a born Christian, Demelza.'
It was not often he used her name. She smiled. 'Perhaps I was not born one. Maybe that's what's wrong. I go to church once a year with Captain Poldark. Christmas Day we go together and take communion. Rest of the time I try to behave as a Christian should. Maybe there's one neighbour we can't love as ourselves, but most of the others we try to live with peaceable and kindly. I think maybe the trouble with me - or is it the trouble with you? ....'
'I'm not convinced of that much sin, brother. Oh, I know I could do better, this way, that way, the other way. And of course I don't love God enough. I'm - earthy. I don't look at a figure on a cross, I look at the things round me. Those are what I love: my husband, my child, my dog, my garden, my spinet, my bedroom, my home. Earthy. You see. But I have love overflowing for all those. Those are more important to me than a Man sitting on a throne in Heaven. I hope if I explain it to Him when I see Him, He'll come round to see it my way ...'
'But don't you see, Christ is among us all the time. Love him first and all the rest will be made over again.'
She was silent. 'I don't think I want it all made over again, Drake. I think I want it just as it is.'
Drake sighed. 'Oh well, I promised Sam I'd try.'
Tide was nearly full. Mist lay in a grey scarf along the line of the cliffs. .. and they walked home hand in hand through the slanting shadows of the new darkness.
My favourite character in the book and probably in literature. Warm, wise and witty, loved her from the moment she arrived in Ross's life. I think WG created a wonderfully believable character with all the flaws and peculiarities of a real woman. I feel i know her and dare i say it, have sometimes felt , better than the author himself!! She has taken on a life of her own in my imagination which goes above and beyond the pages of the book! I will always be grateful to WG for inventing the poldark world but especially for the creation of the magical Demelza....
"Perfection is a full stop .... Ever the climbing but never the attaining Of the mountain top." W.G.